My wife and I have been married for 3 years and 362 days (including today, I think) and Thursday we’re going to celebrate our big #4.
I completely suck at these sort of things. I am certifiably nervous about it and at the same time excited.
And since I’m nervous one of my consistent remedies is to journal (and blog) about it, so over the next 4 days I’m going to attempt to communicate 4 truths which I’ve learned in the last year only (I’ve apparently learned a lot more over the last 4 years, but this past year was formidable).
Attempt No. 1 – Leadership
I’ve learned that leadership in marriage doesn’t have anything to do with what I thought a “leader” was in marriage. In fact, it’s completely contrary to what I thought was true and how the world sees “leadership.”
Being a “leader” in my household or “leading my wife” (as we typically say in Christianese) is more about being right with God individually as much as it is corporately; in fact, I think there’s priority and order within this context as well.
In addition, it’s much less about explicit action and much more of a heart and mind issue.
I’ve barely got it together as a sinner-yet-saved and when I explicitly have tried to “lead” I fail. But, when I model godliness or take my own faith seriously, those are the times of effective leadership.
Actually, I’ll be honest; my wife has modeled Christ-likeness more than I have and to that I’m extremely thankful because my wife has shown me what leadership is all about: Love and service.
[Image from Hamed]
I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like to be married… I think those discussions are better left for the people on the ground (you) than the theorists (me). But I will speak from my own experiences leading other things and agree with you here. Every time I try too hard to be a leader… it doesn't work out. Great leadership so often comes naturally. It might be based on ideas a practices that we've picked up along the way. But it's usually when we don't think about those ideas and practices that they actually shine through.
dude, you're on the right path.
Man this sort of thing is why I"m thankful and blessed to be your friend. Thanks for being the sort of guy who doesn't mind fighting for your marriage! It's so worth it.
do you love being married to a women who loves God more then she loves you? It's the only way to do it!
love ya man!
I act like we have it all together, but we're not perfect. I'm the less-than-perfect one. I heard Andy Stanley say recently that he was perplexed as to why God would see that he was the leader rather than his wife who is smarter than he. So true!
Amen! That's a blessed one John. Not being the boss but being a servant of God commissioned to lead the family to God!