There needs to be space to breathe.
I’m walking with another one of my coaching classes via ChairCo and we had our first group coaching meeting this past week, which was a blast! This class is entirely different than the previous class for more than one reason but the most obvious difference is that it’s an all-guy group, which means that… well, it’s all guys (and you can fill in the rest).
One of the most important things that I do with my team-coaching method is make sure the environment is the absolute best for dialogue, transparency, candor, and ultimately life-change. To do that I do serious vetting of the class participants and it can take a lot of time. When people begin signing up for the next class (and I’m always taking applicants - see at the end of that post) I do phone and in-person interviews to make sure that the class is culturally developed to create these types of environments.
To be honest I reject a lot of people simply because it’s not the right “fit” for the existing members of the class, which is typically based on the first person to enroll. You see, there are only three seats available in total so the makeup of the group is of the utmost importance! If one of the students is going to create misalignment then we all suffer for it.
The point is to maximize effectiveness in a space of limited resources (time, energy, and attention). Great leaders do this well (and I’m still learning to do it!) and they create incredible environments for candor and discussion.
Here are a few things that I’ve learned over the years that enable this type of environment to be created:
- The environment matters. This is why I bring my students and those that I coach to various different locations (we were at The Work Spot for this session) to enable candid conversation with privacy. It has to be quiet enough to capture the inflections of people’s voices and the decor can’t be disruptive.
- Access to media matters. Sometimes the best way to communicate is not always verbal. Body language aside I ask the students to present themselves in whatever way feels the most comfortable. Things like flat-screen projection units, wifi, and other media need to be within arms reach.
- Personality matters. This is why I vet the students for each class and match based on the best cultural fit for that unique group. One person could quickly dominate in the wrong student makeup.
- Context is everything. I provide the context for the group meeting. We are all here to become a better version of ourselves, with more passion, more vision, and more clarity on how to get the things that we need to get done, done. We don’t pull punches and we don’t soft-pitch the hard questions. I provide this culture through my leadership.
- Being explicit saves the day. We are human and we fill gaps of information with ambiguity, distrust, and anxiety. I cut this off at the legs by being explicit with the group about our day, our goals, and our intentions. Gaps filled.
- Ground rules help, a lot. I also establish the “rules of engagement” which allow people to be the most candid and approachable. I tell my students that everything is kept in confidence and that their continued enrollment is based on mutual trust and respect. I’ll kick you out right-quick if I sense dishonesty.
- Food is good. Engaging outside the group meetings is not only enjoyable but rewarding. I take the class out for meals and coffee breaks to give us a different vantage and environment to relate. I also do weekly one-on-one’s so that each student can get that precious intense investment.
- Having fun is not just a result, it’s a goal. I always have this as a part of my top priorities. Sure, we’re talking some difficult stuff and I’m kicking their butts, but it still can be super-fun.
These are just some of the things that I think about when I attempt to create successful environments for candor. I don’t hold this dogmatically as context dictates a lot of the execution so I’m flexible when necessary.
What are your thoughts? How do you create environments that are extremely comfortable for those that are participating? How do you make sure that people feel available to be honest, open, and transparent?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions – I know that many of you do this for a living!
[I'm now taking applications for the next class. Review some of the previous posts in the Coaching Category and read the end of this post for applying. Can't wait to hear from you!]
John, thanks for sharing those points above, as they help others to see a little bit more of the workings of your ChairCo sessions.
While reading your post, the point about “access to media matters” got me to thinking about the group of people, and an interesting idea came to me.
It wold be an interesting experiment to do from the very beginning and at the end of the class.
Set up 3 Twitter accounts like ChairCo1, ChairCo2, and ChairCo3 or ChairCoChair1 or something similar.
Make them PRIVATE accounts.
At the beginning of the class, before anyone is introduced to each other, have them sit in marked chairs 1-3.
No one is allowed to talk or make any form of gestures with their bodies, all communication is through Twitter.
Also, no identifiable questions like what is your hair color or shirt color will be allowed.
Have them interact with one another through Twitter only, giving them questions to ask as needed like:
What is your occupation?
What are your hobbies?
What is your greatest accomplishment? etc.
At the end of a predetermined time, have them write down on paper who they think is sitting in which chair.
After they know who is in which chair, have them read all their Twitter answers so every one really gets to know who that was.
_______________________________________________
This experiment will do several things:
It will create fun.
People will open up to each other quicker since the feeling of anonymity through Twitter will break down walls.
They may end up asking questions that you never thought of that you can include in your next class.
During the weeks to follow every one is allowed to communicate with each other using those Twitter accounts. (of course after that class the passwords would be reset for the new class)
This will also allow for private interaction even when not in class. (this would need to be done with discretion as it would not be a good idea to communicate privately with members of a male and female class that are married)
______________________________________________
Also do this at the end of the class and see if people really did get to know each other after weeks of meetings.
If you decide to do something like this, I would be interested to know the results.
Forgot to mention:
In the first meeting when they are trying to guess who is who, they will not be told each others ChairCo Twitter account. This will still allow anonymity and there will still be order as they can see who is tweeting who, but just not what chair that “who” is sitting in.
Of course for the very last meeting, to see how much they have learned about each other, you will have to issue new Twitter accounts or delete the content and switch the accounts for each person.
whoa, this is pretty neat… ! let me think about this.
In the spirit of candor, I’m not sure what this blog is about anymore. Seems kind of idiosyncratic and interior these days, less about blogging.
Jay, I don’t know what John will say, but I understand your point.
As a frequent visitor to this blog, probably too frequent for others, this is the observation that I have.
John is a man who has many irons in the fire, which from my vantage point I think he is handling well, since this can be expected from a serial entrepreneur. He is also bold enough to share these pursuits with us.
You will have to go back to the beginning of this blog to see the evolution.
In the beginning there was heavy emphasis on blogging in general with many tutorials for the beginner and pro. He continues to provide great tutorials here and there.
Then came ChairCo, which is another business venture of his that he has been sharing with this blog community. And if I am somewhat correct with the timeline, he also started posting content for the corporate or business blogger.
Although his posts about ChairCo or related to ChairCo and his other business pursuits may seem to disrupt the theme of this blog, they actually embrace it. A business blogger is getting a window into the inner workings of how to run a business blog.
Here are two posts I find helpful to put everything into context:
http://tentblogger.com/what-is-a-tentblogger/
http://tentblogger.com/are-you-a-tentblogger/
So basically in my opinion, John is showing us how to make different kinds of tents.
Pup Tent = Personal blogger
Field Tent = Corporate or Business blogger
And really, John did not pay me to say this (he might not even agree).
John, here is my Paypal account: paypal.com/paymetosay/123456789
jay, you’re right – things are shifting a bit and i’m being more candid in my sharing of other parts of my life. very astute and you’re not the only one. i hope i’m providing value to everyone, regardless of content. there is, of course, enough blogs out there to find others that are more consistent, perhaps! thanks jay for sticking around and your comment, calling me out! not bad, not bad!