Archives For Coaching

I’m a superhero fan and comic book geek just like many of you (or not many of you…) and I try to make it to all of the feature film adaptations as possible, just to be entertained and to appreciate the different perspective some screenwriters have from the original material.

I try not to judge them and simply appreciate it as it stands – there have been a few though that have been translated terribly but 100% batting average isn’t the goal (or possible), right?

And our real superheroes, unlike the fictional comic book ones, are just as flawed and imperfect as we are. We simply have to remember that, especially when we laud and put them on pedestals from the far reaches of the internet.

Sometimes it just takes a brief moment with them to remember that your own personal superhero(es) are struggling with the same things that you are and are just trying to do whatever they do with excellence; again, just like you.

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I had a packed (and pleasant) few days as I witnessed my youngest brother marry his beautiful bride in northern Virginia and then I headed south into the mountains with my family for a retreat / vacation. I needed that so badly!

Isn’t it true that you don’t realize how desperate you are for some time off until you’re actually taking the time off? My wife, naturally, knew that I needed to get away so she planned most of it and was able to tack it on to the back-end of the wedding trip – she’s so wise and strategic!

We stayed at an incredible Bed and Breakfast owned by an older French couple, Bernard and Tessa, who took good care of us every single day, especially the mornings with some delightful food and fresh-pressed coffee that had me wanting to never go back to proper civilization.

Ahhhh. With my lungs experiencing crisp, clean mountain air I realized that for far too long I’ve grown accustomed to processed (and re-processed) industrial air.

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There comes a time where you realize that you’re the only person in the room who has the answer. Or, perhaps you’ve been in that strange situation where you realize you’re the only one that sees what is really going on and are baffled why no one else is getting a clue.

I feel this way often – and I’ll admit that most of the time it’s not that I have a unique or unbelievable perspective or that I have somehow transcended the room’s collective intelligence , but rather the fact that I simply became aware of my differing viewpoint on the topic at hand.

The question is what I do with that knowledge – and that’s your challenge as well. Continue Reading…

I’ve been running 100mph for the last few weeks as I’ve been attempting to try to close a number of open projects and responsibilities that I’ve got. It’s been more than few 10hr+ days, including weekends.

I’m not a fan of that lifestyle at all and thankfully it’s for a limited season of time. More importantly I have relationships in my life that keep much of this in check and who inspire me by doing incredible work with limited resources! You may have even inspired me as I’ve read your blog posts and looked through your tweets!

For example, there are only a handful of times in my life where I’m going to be spending hours upon hours writing my final thesis for my double Masters degree – I finished the first very rough draft this past week and it’ll scale beyond 200 pages at this point (and it’s not even done yet).

Handing that in last week was an incredible sigh of relief, but as my wife could tell, I was exhausted. I was entirely spent. I had little to give and could do almost nothing more than the agreed upon responsibilities for our family. I felt like a slug! Continue Reading…

Hot Stuff

May 11, 2012 — 7 Comments

I used to think I was hot stuff (I typically, at least in my head, use a different word for “stuff”) – my youth, arrogance, and straight-up ignorance fueled my pride, ego, and wiped everyone off the boards before I would give them time and attention.

Something has changed, dramatically, and I’m not sure when it began but I think I like it (thank God!). You see, I woke up this morning, hopped in the shower, and began planning out my day as well as what I was planning on writing and publishing as well as the teams that I have to lead and inspire.

I thought about all the things that I had going on as well as all the things that needed to get done. I realized my list was about 10-12 explicit things that needed answers so that I could continue to move forward, build momentum, and kick serious tail.

The problem was that I didn’t have any of those things answered and I had no idea how to solve them – not even a hint of an idea. I realized that my schedule for the day was covered with nearly 100% ambiguity and I didn’t know jack.

I just hung my head and I realized that most of my job is dealing with exactly that: Not knowing much about anything and managing ambiguity and trying to piece together some sort of coherent vision, strategy, and a plan of execution.

When the heck did it all get twisted? When did this change occur? At one point I thought I had it all together (when I thought I was hot sh*t) and that I had a solution for nearly everything but looking back on the last few months I’ve been operating in shades of gray.

Things are getting done but the amount of times I could say that I knew what was going on is really at an all-time low.

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I had a very soft launch last night sharing a few things about the history and backstory of ChairCo, my professional coaching organization, and things seem to be working very well so today is the official announce of the new website and the online acceleration class that many of you have been asking about!

It has taken months, nearly half-a-year, to get this up and running and it’s been an incredible investment of my time and resources, but I couldn’t be more pleased with where it is today and for all the people that helped me out to finalize and launch this neat new project.

Of course, a huge shoutout goes to Jared, one of my partners at 8BIT, who did the design and branding of ChairCo – it’s pretty much the nicest site I’ve ever personally owned! Some slick CSS3 and HTML5 effects to boot!

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I’ve been asked a few times why I’ve named my professional coaching business after a chair and there are a few reasons why I landed with ChairCo - the first being that my wife suggested it (which is the most important reason, naturally).

My wife, my two beautiful daughters, and I were headed to Augusta to visit her parents for Thanksgiving last year and it’s a pretty decent drive – about 2 hours and some change, depending on who’s driving (less with me, more with Sue). If one of us isn’t entirely knocked out and taking advantage of an open opportunity to nap, we’ll typically spend the time chatting about life and decompressing from the daily challenges that we both face.

This time though we chatted about our future and the directions that we seemed to be headed – I had just come out of a large contract relationship and was looking for the next big thing (as well as another source of revenue) and collectively we were reviewing my options.

I have always been blessed with having too many options but this time was different – we weren’t sure exactly where I needed to head next and what I needed to be spending my time doing. We discussed a number of different things before she finally chimed in and remarked how I should do that which I’m most passionate about: Coaching others.

She went on to share how I appeared “most alive” after an engagement and how it was something she’s seen me do for years, but never in a “professional” way, and never receiving compensation for it explicitly.

For me it was a passion of mine that had it’s own rewards already – it was so satisfying that I had never considered applying my entrepreneurial spirit toward it – it was a self-contained, enjoyable hobby and incredible give-back.

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Sometimes all you need is a small bit of confidence to get you over that hump into the “promised land.”

For you that might be as simple as getting enough confidence to finally ask your boss for that raise that you (and all of your team) know that you deserve or gathering enough courage to have that tough conversation with a loved one that’s long overdue.

For others you just need a bit more confidence in yourself to pick up those weights again or to put on your running shoes and get out there and start that exercise program that you had, in your own head, committed to months ago.

Or for others you’re just missing just enough confidence to start that venture, project, or business that you’ve always wanted to have – but for whatever reason you’ve been unable to take that first step.

Do it. You. Can. Do. It.

The more I spend time professionally coaching people the more I realize that nearly all of them have everything that they really need to be successful – what they need, more than anything, is a small influx of confidence in the right areas - not all areas, but the right ones, and then they’ll be able to continue to move forward with those fabulous plans of taking over the world.

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I had the pleasure of sitting down with a friend this morning who I happened to have hired into a role at another job – he’s still a young guy, finalizing his bachelor’s degree but sharp as nails and willing to work hard to make things happen.

One of the unique things about this young man is his unassuming level of honesty with what he can and cannot do – I’ve talked about this previously in more than a few posts but this morning’s meeting was a firm reminder of why I choose him to fill an incredibly significant role. Sure, he was functionally capable of performing the tasks required of him but it was his honesty about what he could not do that set him a part from the rest of the candidates.

Very few people have that level of emotional intelligence and right amount of humility to admit to someone that they may not know very well that they can’t do X or Y or Z.

What I’ve found, though, is that this has less to do with an outward presentation of honesty to others and more about honesty with self – that is, that they have come to terms with their natural limitations and are enjoying the freedom and peace that are a natural consequence of that reality.

This is the fine art of specialization and the science of being especially good at what you do – the quicker you can learn to do this the better.

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My company, Action & Influence, is offering free coaching and assessment - an incredible personal and team performance optimization tool! I’ve already shared some thoughts previously about being a 5151 and how this changes everything - how I interact with people, engage with them, build teams and organizations.

We’re so passionate about helping others lead their teams better (and their own lives and relationships) that we’ll be giving away free assessments every single week as part of our growing business.

So consider following @ActionInfluence on Twitter, liking us on Facebook, and subscribing to the RSS Feed to continue to stay updated so you can continue entering each week!

Oh yeah.