I have been thinking about these three words for a long time now, ever since one of my mentors over 5 years ago challenged me to think critically about the three.
The question he asked me to consider and the resulting challenge he gave me was this:
What does success, significance, and satisfaction mean for you? And, can they co-exist in harmony?
I have been racking my brain ever since. To be honest, I have teetered between the three every single year (if not every single month) and changed my perspective many times over.
There have been times where I believed the following equations to be true:
- Success = Significance + Satisfaction
- Significance = Success + Satisfaction
- Satisfaction = Success + Significance
This is on a good day. On a bad day though I see them not as additive but more negative where one of them is limited or limiting:
- Success = Significance – Satisfaction
- Success = Satisfaction – Significance
- Significance = Satisfaction – Success
- Significance = Success – Satisfaction
- Satisfaction = Significance – Success
- Satisfaction = Success -Significance
Which means that one of them naturally is disregarded or compromised in order to obtain the other two (perhaps).
Again, on a good day it all appears to make “sense” but on a bad day one of them seems to get thrown out or limits the other two (or becomes limiting).
What has happened though recently is a personal discovery where I realized that I have never answered my mentor’s original question directly: That is, the point of co-existing.
With an equation I do not necessarily need them to co-exist as equals as there is a linear relationship and progression of one, two, and three. There exists prioritization and limitation. There exists amplification and minimizing of one, or two, or all three as a result.
All-in-all, there is no right or wrong equation. Rather, it is. They exist. And the tension that exists, although palpable and very, very real, can never be completely solved.
Rather, it might look like this in an ideal and tension-less world:
- Success == Satisfaction == Significance
There are times in our lives that we’ll naturally concentrate more of our time in one area, cultivating one as the other stand by or in the wings. As we mature as individuals we may find some sort of equilibrium but it’s tenuous, at best.
I’m sorry that I don’t have a better solution but the lack of a solution seems to be the best solution for something like this. Love to hear your thoughts.
Hey John,
I really like this. I see the correlation between the three, and I think the tension between them is necessary. Much like your last equation implies, I think it’s less of a + or -, and more of a balance.
I think it’s about the value each has for the individual, and for each individual to recognize that each should be value equally. I think you have to know what each of those things means to you, and what that looks like for you to understand the value each should have.
I think once we can do that, living with the tension, and working towards the equilibrium becomes a lot more natural…but never easy.
Very thought – provoking stuff. Happy Monday.
This IS very thought provoking (probably your mentors intent). There are actually two questions: 1) what do they mean for me, and 2) can they co-exist in harmony. As I finished reading your post, it dawned on me that it is in helping others realize what they mean to THEM that allows ME to have any (or all) of the three at any one time. It is then that I can begin to see them in harmony with each other.
This is a good perspective. I’ve been spending a lot time lately trying to decided what success will look like for me. Most of the time we assume it involves possessions and our bank accounts. I’m starting to discover that it’s more about relationships, influence and family.
I think I’ve gotten to the point in my ~7 year IT career, that the thing I want above all is significance. I can be successful – I can do all those things that help me get the 6-figure job, and have steadily moved up towards that point. I can get (a lot of) satisfaction out of that – I can earn the money, I can live the lifestyle, I can go home and “play” with expensive gadgets. I can live satisfied in my success, content to “have mine”.
What I miss, is significance – hoping that others will live better because of me. I’m willing to sacrifice success, I’m willing to be less “satisfied” – materially, at least. But to me, I don’t want this 9-5 gig any more. I want to find my place at the bootstraps of others, helping them pull themselves up. Perhaps I’m just redefining ‘success’ and ‘satisfaction’, at least for my context. But both, I believe, come after and through what I do that has “significance” in this world.
Just my perspective, and I don’t mean to be preachy here or tell others to choose likewise. This just comes out of my own recent navel-gazing about where my career is headed. Great post!
First of all, I love that you used == for the equality. You’re such a coder!
But I think the answer is to rephrase the question. Instead of “What does success, significance, and satisfaction mean for you? And, can they co-exist in harmony?” why not “How do significance, satisfaction and success come together to create a life worth living?”
By doing this, it forces you to first re-evaluate what each item means. For example, I think most times satisfaction is thought of as a state of “enough.” i.e., when I’ve obtained __________, I’ll be satisfied. We think of it as when you’ve had enough of something. But the problem with this approach is the core issue is hunger. And hunger as a “thing” is never permanently satisfied. What happens when you eat a huge meal to the point of saying to yourself “I don’t ever want to see food again!” Do you stop eating forever? So satisfaction can’t be defined as getting enough of something. I believe it has to be redefined in terms of contentedness. You see, I can be content though I’m still hungry. In fact, learning to be content in my hunger can actually decrease my hunger over time. I’m sure you can carry this thought-process into success and significance as well.
Bottom line: in any debate you have to first make sure you’re asking the right question, then have clarity of definition on the terms before you can solve the problem.
Thanks for posting such a great topic to think on!