So, confession time: Video Games really messed up my marriage. This study here confirms the truth which I, and my spouse, learned first hand.
You see, I was addicted to video games. One in particular, but it was serious. And I don’t use the word “addicted” lightly. I mean true, clinical addiction.
I would play for hours upon hours. My wife knew of my interest when she first met me but she didn’t really know. Perhaps, I was simply good at hiding it from her.
The first few months of our marriage was rough. I would run, literally, to the games to cope with our disagreements or just get lost in the world because it helped me feel in control.
And it didn’t help that I was so freaking good at the games… I found myself much more interested in being a success there than being a success in my marriage.
And yes, I was a Christian man at the time. A Christian man struggling with sin. I tried “quitting” more than enough times to finally bring me to the place where I just had to admit that I was really messed up.
Sin has an interesting way of getting a foothold in our lives and has the ability to cripple anyone and anything if we don’t rely on the truth that has truly set up free. And through God’s abounding Grace, I got through it, with his help, with accountability, and the love of my wife who always forgave me.
It’s now been a couple years “clean”. It’s unbelievable to think how much time I spent on those machines. I wouldn’t have been able to do what I’m doing now and I wouldn’t be the husband and father that I am today. I’m not perfect, but I worship a God who is, and He is the “author and perfector” of my Faith.
I dig that.
Amen bro. I was addicted to games as well, and sometimes I still feel that tug to download a free MMORPG and play it on my PC laptop, knowing it will suck up valuable time, but I won't go there. There are no video game consoles in my house either, and I don't think there will be for a long time, until we have kids and they grow up. And even then, I won't let them play some of those games I used to play. Amen for the cleaness bro!
thanks dude, rock it solid!
I've luckily never had an addiction in the gaming world but do know some that have. I do enjoy video games but here are parameters I've set. We have a few guys in our church on xBox Live and we'll schedule a night a week (two max) and we all play within the same 'party'. When we're all done we're done. Keeps us accountable and we have a blast doing it!
I guess the key to doing it within marriage is to realize up front that it can be a destructive addiction. I think that as Christians we see the obvious ones such as drugs and alcohol abuse, but tend to overlook some others such as video games, overeating etc. As with anything, moderation is ALWAYS the key.
I appreciate your honesty. This is where the topic gets deep. I try to use 1 Corinthians 10:31 as gauge. I tried to lie to myself for years that I was "glorifying God" by playing with other Christians. I wasn't really asking myself if God was being glorified through my thoughts or actions. Find yourself doing the same, or how do you throw those thoughts around when in those moments?
Yea, I can see if you were playing games with other Christians who were equally as tempted and struggled with gaming, this would only be continuing the addiction under the guise of beingaccountable. One could definitely decieve yourself into thinking that it was ok to do it a lot as long as it was with other believers. In my case we've all got lives and families and we get together once a week, if that…
yeah. i was deceived. without question… hard core… ugh..
seriously. right on.
moderation is crucial.
Hey man I can relate to you on that. One of my hobbies is video games. I am one of those guys who stay outside in a tent to buy the new systems. I one all 3 systems. I used to play mmorpg's. I got Chrono Trigger for my DS for Christmas. You know the type. When I get married I really saw that I wasn't playing the video games, the video games were playing me. So to be honest, I pretty much don't play at all any more. Don't get me wrong I'll still play some Rock Bank with my wife, or some Halo 3 with some friends online, or prehaps a little Fallout 3 to get my mind right!
(BUT NEVER ANY MMORPG – NEVER. Those put me in a time warp and time seems to just fast-forward into the future. Rip Van Winkle Style!)
I'm glad you took the time to wrote this, I'm sure there are tons of guys who can relate. I just hope you don't have to write another one of these in a few months entitled "Twitter Pwned My Marriage"
-Rick
Don't be ridiculous, Rick. He blogs way more than he twitters.
I destroyed a straw today, and thought of you.
peace|dewde
….puaahhaha.
Did he just say Rip Van Winkle?
dunno…?!
dude, you too? no way………………..
H3,Thanks for sharing this. We've got Gamecube and Playstation. My 13 year old and his buddy seem to play a lot. It has concerned me at times.
I praise God that through His grace he released you from that which was pulling you away from Him. I really blew chunks the first 6 years of our marriage. We're going on 16 years in July. It's still not perfect, but we've worked our butts off to talk things out.God has blessed us with 3 kids, who in general, are really amazing.
I certainly appreciate what you pour into your blogs and how God is using you.
thanks jim.
While I never got to this level with video games, I can understand how it happens. You make key points about escape and/or control. Any activity that allows you to hide from your responsibilities as a Christian or gives you an unrealistic element of control over a “laboratory” environment bears close watching.
Good thing God does not have an addictive personality. Imagine what that would be like.
As I'm sure you read, I struggled with it even into the first years of our children's lives. This is a message that must continue to be shared, and it's been great to hear the "agree with you" comments, as well as the "video games cannot be true idolatry" responses. Just because entertainment might bring us happiness (temporary) doesn't make it void of replacing our priority focus on the God we claim to follow.
praise God.
good stuff man…i've been down the same road…sometimes i think video games could be to us what "household idols" were to people in the Old Testament. fun at the time, but when in light of eternity, mainly of no benefit, unless you are "ministering to teenagers" by decimating them in NCAA…ha.
Hey, I'm proud of you John!
It takes a real man…
My WoW uninstall date was Sept 15th, 2005. Need I say more?
peace|dewde
you the man. like me.
I haven't logged to WoW in almost three months. I have yet to uninstall it. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, sit at my laptop and stare at that log icon. My name is Thomas and I'm an addict.
hehe. word. dude. join the club!
Thanks for sharing. Does the blogs ever get too much?
… of course.
This is an issue over which my wife and I have had extended discussions… Way to go John!
yes, sue and i have had “words”…
Just for the fun of it, I wrote an application that took your birth date, current date, birth date of your character and time played and run a few calculations. After crunching those numbers, I quit playing a couple months later. I was amazed at how much time I had invested in video games. And for what? To pass the time?
dude, you have no idea… i've built some strange and lame apps in my lifetime..
word, thansk for sharing luke…!